Britta-bot, programmed badly
Wires with fraying ends
Functioning mad and sadly
No faith in herself or friends
This is awkward.
Let’s go, Slumdog!
I want to say some names to you. Jeffrey Dahmer. Ted Bundy. Rich. What do they have in common? We don’t know them very well. What do we know about Ben Chang? We know he’s nuts. (Let him FINISH!) We know he’s dangerous, unpredictable, selfish. We know he uses his name to make bad puns. (Guilty as Chang’d.) When he talks, he over- and under-emphasizes his words seemingly at random! When he eats, he holds his fork like a murderer’s knife, gnawing at its skewered payload like a deranged woodland rodent. (Bring it home!) We know he smells like Band-Aids, we know he dresses like a Cuban cab driver, we know he exhibits–nay–flaunts proudly obvious symptoms of over half a dozen disorders you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy’s pets. (Feel the heeeaaat!) We know these things about Ben Chang, and so much more than we ever wanted to know about him. Why? Because it’s there. It’s on the surface. What you see may be what you don’t want, but… it’s also what you get.
Who is this kettle corn popping phantom? This human question mark? This number eight scoop of vanilla tapioca with a Ph.D. in being swell and a Master’s in “Everybody loves me”? Who is it?! We may never know. I only know one thing. Nobody is this good a person. And nobody can get any worse than this.
Pizza pizza go in tummy
Me so hungee, me so hungee
There’s a clock on the wall.
Eight plus two, times five…
Ten after eight.
I’m gifted in other ways.
Take my coat.
Aw, thank you! So sweet.
Just don’t eat anything or drink anything. And no sweating. Or bending at the elbows, and no chairs with backrests. And if you take it off, wooden hangers only. …You’re probably warm now, right?
breaking in an empty sketchbook
Wait HOW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN PICS OF YOUR PHONE CASES THEY ARE PERFECT.
Anyway this gem is from hoursago/blue’s society 6 shop and it is perfect in every way and I have had so many New Yorkers ask me where I got it/what the reference is, or else enthusiastically high-five me in the street.
Also public service announcement I look like shit but after no sleep and like 12 hours in an airport it’s acceptable
oh my god really!!!!! NEW YORK WHY YOU BEIN ALL COOL that’s so cute ahhhh
gosh thank you i am so proud
(Source: occamsscissors)
“We need a better name.”
